yet another outrage, with zero change

370 Rs, consent and the performative problem of Indian activism

Every few months, our algorithm is blown up with a controversy that very rightly filled us with rage, and we find ourselves fueling it endlessly as it escalates, while the deeper issue remains unresolved. Unless you’ve been living under a rock and have closed off all contact with society, the 370 Rs Biryani controversy has raised once again the endless debate on consent : a clip of Pranit More’s comedy shows an audience member, Himanshu Jangra, spoke about his experience of spending about 370 Rs on a date; the girl wanted to go home but he says he wants to “have his money’s worth”, and the comedian eggs him on to spill more details. I don’t need to point out the obvious: the entitlement to a woman’s body because you spent money on a meal, the audience complicit as they laughed at this atrocity, and the comedian himself further made cheap remarks to an already cheap and disgusting story of a predator outing himself without any shame or guilt.

THE OUTRAGE

Of course, the clip went viral. Many creators spoke out, even taking the time to educate their audience on consent and respect. Himanshu was fired from his job and Pranit has deleted his account since, his chatGPT-ish half-ass apology doing nothing to calm the fires. The same happened when the manosphere made memes out of Chiraiya— every once in a while, a case sensationalizes itself to massive reactions of the general masses. We saw it with Nirbhaiya, we saw it with the R.G Kar Medical Case, and endless other cases of horrifying violence against women.

It seems that the consequence of the aftermath of the incident shows change; we don’t tolerate such bullshit, we've evolved, we’re better than that. Yet, Himanshu felt safe enough— proud enough to openly share a story where he clearly not only views the woman as an object, a means to an end, but also continues to describe what can only be as classified as sexual assault. The vulgarity of his language, his disrespect for another human being, he not only thought at any point he was wrong but simply felt his actions as righteous compensation. For a measly 370 rs. This comfort to demonize women has been a staple of locker room talk, the flimsy boys will be boys as romance in Indian cinema continues to be stalking, stockholm syndrome and normalization of casual but dangerous misogyny. We teach our boys young that a woman is a body first, we teach our boys young that a woman is a prize, we teach our boys young how to be a rapist.

Our outrage is a reflection of our own guilt; we’ve made it possible that men like Pranit and Himanshu spew their vile misogyny publicly, unashamed and unapologetic. In the film Assi, following a brutal rape, a teacher wants to return to normality, to go back into routine and put her trauma behind her. The principal sits her down and breaks down about the comments made by her own students, all minors, inside their little group chats. This isn’t a creative liberty; the way men act amongst men is brutally, terrifyingly different than they present themselves to be. They are comfortable enough to drop all masks and confess to the most heinous shit with a braggy tone, genuinely either believing that they had the right to or simply didn’t care about its consequences to the victim. Which is worse? false righteousness or malicious intent? . They are comfortable enough because men protect men, because men never call out other men on their bullshit. Abusers are often defended under pretexts of “he never was like that to me” while the integrity and character of a victim is torn to shreds, smear campaigns well underway already. We have created this system; we’ve made it possible so that a man feels entitled to sex because he bought a meal for a woman. We’ve failed ourselves once again, and I’m sure in another month or so there’ll be something new to be mad about.

THE AGE OLD PROBLEM

Now what?

Do we continue as we always have, the rage cooled and calmed, a sense of justice invoked, and back to normal— without addressing or acknowledging the underlying issues that will surely continue to make it so that another Pranit, another Himanshu props up somewhere and we can once again rinse and repeat while literally nothing changes.

The problem, of course, is that we live in a violently Patriarchal society that not only encourages but rather rewards men at the top of this system. Wealth, caste and entitlement only increase itself linearly; without intersectionality, we’re never getting ourselves out of this biased, deeply deeply fucked system. The way we talk about women in film, in songs, in media has only enabled the shitty predatory behaviour of Indian men. Item songs existing solely to objectify women with lyrics like “gattek le sayian tandoori chicken se” or the new Norah Fatehi song that had to be taken because of its shocking vulgarity. Why are we always surprised? We watch this vidoes, we vibe and dance to this music, we pay no heed to the comedic gags downplaying trauma, assault and other heavy topics distastefully. The lack of sex education, of how little idea most people in a country of over a billion have of the simple word consent is staggering. We’re de-sensitized to millions of cases of assault, dowry, DV, and other gruesome crimes against women. Occasionally we rally and protest and march and change exactly nothing. No laws against marital rape; abusers openly in seats of power; an abysmal ranking in women safety, a rape every 20 mins. We are ravaged by a system that hates us. The revolution starts with unlearning, with awareness, with empathy. The revolution starts with education of the masses.

Again, I’m not saying anything new, this is pretty much Feminism 101, yet I find myself re-iterating this like a broken record with every controversy that ends disappointingly without any change. When will our activism cease being performative? .

THE MANOSPHERE

Recently, the manosphere has tried to rebrand itself into “men’s rights activism” and all I’ve seen is more hatred against women with a dash of fascism ( funny how that works). Every time, without fail, these clowns manage to get exactly the wrong message from the meaningful media doing God’s work in education and awareness. To be so utterly moronic as to think a film like Mrs was trying to destroy “family values”, to be so so pathetically stupid to twist Chiraiya as feminist propaganda while doing LITERALLY DOGSHIT to help real victims out there— these same men would trivialize a male survivor’s trauma and make jokes about “russian 3000 ki”. I bring this up because while Patriarchal systems hurt women in irreversible ways but they hurt men too. Men grow up without holding any accountability; they’re never given a chance to do better. Men are abused too, and it’s rarely ever taken with rarity and cycles of generational abuse continues. Ideas of masculinity rarely helps a man, merely presenting emotional unavailability as a stoic, desirable trait while empathy is seen as feminine and weak. More than being strong men, men are taught how not to be women. Anything feminine is seen as weak; anything vulnerable bringing discomfort. The Male Loneliness Epidemic is entirely self-inflicted and that brunt of this burden once again falls to women as well. To any man reading this, the MRA isn’t going to save you. Your life isn’t shambles because of your 10th grade heartbreak. Women are real people, with thoughts and feelings and complexity. Treat them as such, and you’ll find yourself better for it. To the incels, I can only hope you find your way out of the redpill bullshit ( the matrix was directed by two trans women btw, it’s an allegory for transness).

ADDITIONAL THOUGHTS

1. I’ve seen some creators compare the cost of their expensive make-up as a response to the miserly 370, and while I fully get where they’re coming from, the cost of anything doesn’t justify an entitlement to sex. It also creates the idea that women of a lower economic bracket are somehow less worthy.

2. Men need to call out men; we need to stop letting misogyny slide, men will only do better when they’re held accountable.

3. We need better media; the representation in mass cinema is outdated, stereotypical and shallow. The audience deserves better.

4. Pranit More, never come back. You knew exactly what you were doing.

5. Men, do better.

PS: I’m not much of an essayist, but if you truly want to educate yourself on feminism and women’s issues:

• Apoorvaa S Raghavan writes the most brilliant essays dissecting every minuscule issue with such attention to detail; and the empathy with she writes gets me everytime.

• Read : THE SECOND SEX, WE SHOULD BE ALL FEMINISTS, A ROOM OF ONE’S OWN.

PSS: other essays diving into feminist issues

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